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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ladies'n'Gents,

I'm recently single after being engaged for about three years.

In those three years I got to be a dad to a 5, then 6, then 7, then 8 year old. His first BB gun was from me. I taught him to shoot.

Mom isn't into the shooting scene and only paid half attention to any safety instruction I gave her.

Additionally, I've seen her as unable to pay attention to what he's doing. I taught him to carve and caught him in a dangerous situation when she was supposedly watching him.

She wants the BB gun. Errrrr... I dunno about that. I told her that she knows maybe half of what she needs to as a shooting instructor for a child, and of that half, I had to ram it down her throat for the couple times she shot my .22. I was then told I was calling her a bad parent. Errrr... Ok.

She had a boyfriend about a month after we split up, and it continues. I asked if he had any knowledge of guns and she said it wasn't relevant! How is this not relevent???

She's been diagnosed with ADD, depression, and PTSD. In other words, I'm just not sure about her mental ability to effectively parent, let alone supervise a learning shooter. I would still be taking him except she believes it's healthy to just pull a kid and a dad-figure apart after a three year relationship. I was the only one in his life as she ran to this state when she found out she was pregnant.

In other words, I have no legal claim to the child.

Sad to say, but I don't think the boy will be getting the BB gun. I believe it's a safety hazard. I hate to do the gun control thing, but man, I couldn't live with myself if the ex forgot to remind the kiddo to wear safety glasses and he caught a ricochet to the eye, or something similar.

Thoughts? Do you believe I'm making the right decision here?

Thanks,

Josh <><
 

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Ok Josh you asked and here it is right between the eyes. It's gonna hurt you a lot after three years, and you probably will be po'ed at me. Easy words for me to say, but it is the only way. Back off and get out of their life. It is none of your business any more.

This is not school teacher text book talking, but 70+ years of learning the hard way.

Bert
 

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Hi Josh,

Been there, done that...

Walk away, live in the present and move on...

Your thread paralells a similiar situation that happened in my life and it wasn't fun, gratifying or very memorable in a nice way. Whatever decisions she makes for her son are her's alone whether its teaching him shooting or any other activity.

I would get and stay uninvolved as much as possible. I wouldn't become involved in decisions with her.

There's someone out there that deserves you more than she does.

Chris
 

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Been there, done that...
Walk away, live in the present and move on...
+1 with Chris. Tuff call, however, I would keep the BB gun and the beautiful memories of the boy and let the rest go.

Curt
 

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I believe you already know the right thing to do and are going to do it.

No, you can't leave a gun, even a BB gun in that situatiuon.

Sorry that you have been parted from the boy but there's some things that you can't do anything about.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks gents.

Reading through my state's laws (again) I don't believe I can legally transfer it either. Though Indiana is very loose when it comes to ownership transfer, it does state that the transferee must be a "proper person" and goes on to define what that is. She doesn't match the description.

Thanks again,

Josh <><
 
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