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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dear Moderators,
I want yo ask for your permission to open this thread. I am not sure if this is an allowed topic in this forum, (mix of familiar politics and fun) but I would really hear some opinions about this.

Thing is: Do you share your firing hobby with your beloved one(s)?

What does your wife, husband, lover, or whatever (Sorry, but my English is not the best, and I cannot find a better word for whatever. Please teach me what to write) says about your love to iron toys?

Do you prefer to share your firing skills with your friends or with your family?

Can you discuss the same topics with your firing friends when your "whatever" is present? Do you feel 100% comfortable when she (he, they) is (are) present when you share your firing adventures and experiences with your friends?

I would be very happy if I would sometimes go firing with wife and daughters. (cat and dog at home are females also.... :-*) But most of the times I would prefer to go alone. I fell not so free to talk as I usually talk about guns when wife and kids are present.

I have 85% FHaWP (Familiar Have a Weapon Permit), which was a very long and difficult familiar procedure for some of the guys that fire with me, so I am happy to tell that to obtain the FHaWP was not a big difficulty for me.

Even If my family has given me my FHaWP, I prefer to share this with my fiends at the firing club, and would be happy If just sometimes my girls would join me.

Can you share your own experiences and comments?

Greetings:

Andreas
 
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Very interesting subject, Andreas. I'm very fortunate because my wife is interested in the shooting sports almost as much as I am. To put this in perspective: This year for Valentine's Day my wife bought me a Kimber 1911, and last year I bought her a Sig Sauer for Christmas. I feel just as comfortable at the range with her as I do with anybody. But I don't think that this is typical. My wife and I started as friends before we began dating, and she already had an interest in firearms. I think that she was born to be a shooter, she just didn't really know it before I came along.

In comparison, my brother-in-law likes to go the range, but he's only just talked his wife into taking a basic pistol class. And that wasn't an easy task for him. His wife has never had an interest in shooting.

Us men are lucky if we can find a woman that can be both a wife and a shooting companion. I look at our range time together as building on our relationship. But I also think it is important that I maintain my relationships with my other friends. Even though I wouldn't rather go to the range with "the guys" than my wife, it's going to be me and the guys at the movie theatre when the next Tarantino flick comes out. And it's going to be me and the guys hudled around the X-Box planning an ambush on an enemy patrol.

Important thing is that your loved ones are educated about firearms. Make sure that your family can handle guns safely and that they have the skills they need to protect themselves. After that what's important is that everyone is having fun. If your wife isn't into shooting you could maybe suggest that she go out with her girl friends while you're out with your buddies at the range. Just be prepared for her to come back with more clothes than she had when she left :)

Nice topic, Andreas. ~Pistolero
 

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Hello Iagbaarb,

No, I must honestly say my wife isn't much interested in shooting, firearms or the shooting sports.

However, she doesn't seem to mind that I enjoy them so much and I am not very concerned by her lack of interest. I have taken her shooting and she enjoys it, but it is not something she would pursue on her own.

Chris
 

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My wife is not at all interested in shooting. And I have a hard time discussing it with her. I always feel that I have to find some justification for spending money on range time or new hardware. So I think I know some of what you are feeling. I want her to be comfortable with having a home defense weapon but getting her to shoot takes an act of congress. I think with a little time and some patience she will be more accepting.
 
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My fiance loves to shoot rifles, and once she gets a little better with her little Kel-Tec .380, I think she'll enjoy that, too. Right now, she practices pistol because it's just plain a good idea. She's always carried a knife, and is very much the kind of woman that would stab a do-bad in his... soft spot, if need be. As such, she wants to get better with her defense pistol, but she just hasn't got the hang of it, yet.

It wasn't always this way, though. She had to be coaxed into shooting, at all.
 

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My wife's not interested, but she doesn't mind that I am and she's often happy that I'm armed. She went shooting with me when we first went out and didn't much like it (her eyesight is pretty bad). After a while, she realized that she was glad to have guns in the house that she could get to if she needed them. I've gradually narrowed it down to a house that she likes (our 3" 625 .45 acp revolver). She'll go out every 6 months with me and shoot it to maintain familiarity.

She encourages me to get toys, though. I think this is mainly so she doesn't feel so bad about the shoes and purses that she buys.
 

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My wife will go to the range once a year if I really make an issue of it, just to practice with the revolver I gave her to keep in the bedside drawer. Otherwise, she doesn't mind at all if I go shoot alone or with my group.
Some women just don't care about it. Be happy if your wife let's you shoot when you want to.
og
 

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A firearms hobby wouldn't have been my wife's choice but she will participate with me on occasion. She considers it to be important to maintain proficiency with firearms. She suffers from poor eyesight las Erich's wife does but still manages to shoot fairly high scores in the shooting test portion of Texas conceal carry qualification procedures. She is most smug about her capabilities with a 1911 .45 which is her favorite.

I talk firearms up around folks who are uncomfortable about them, putting them in a positive light. Discomfort with the topic of firearms just isn't much of an issue in this part of the world.
 

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I perfer to be at the range WITH MY WIFE who on any given day can flat outshoot me,perhaps a tactical error on my part ;)Doug
 

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Andreas---
It's like teaching your wife or girlfriend to drive, or ski, or play pool. There are other dynamics involved, and you're probably doomed from the outset. Nor is it about eating nachos and having a beer afterwards, which most of our better halves like to do anyway. I'm lucky in that I met my girlfriend when I went to buy ammo, so she already knew the worst-case scenario. In other words, it's not necessarily a guy thing: you just have to be careful not to bore them to death. If they enjoy your friends, and like shooting, to boot, you're ahead of the game. If they don't, you roll with it. Like some of these other guys say, as long as it isn't a deal-breaker, and both of you accept that you can have interests that don't necessarily coincide, what harm?
David
 

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Howdy igabarrd,

A very interesting question sir. Please don't worry about your English at all. With my deep South accent, I bet many of my friends would understand you much easier than they do me, lol.

I typed this comment about 2 hours ago, and tried to post it just as my cable modem decided to act odd, so I will type it again now. I reset my modem, and things appear to be working as designed again now.

I have actually enjoyed doing both - shooting with my now ex-wife (no. 2, and I have serious doubts if there will ever be a no. 3 now, lol), and shooting with my buds. I see benefits to doing both if possible sir.

When I first met my now ex, she was a next door neighbor in an apartment complex. On our first date she explained at 14 she had walked in to find her dad had committed suicide with a 1911 45 pistol at home. She also said she had never fired a weapon. While she was not anti-gun, I could see it was a touchy subject for her still, as years later she was tearing up talking about finding her dad.

She knew I was a federal agent and that I carried a handgun. But at that point I went out of my way to avoid every letting her see it, as I saw no point in "rubbing it in" so to speak. I belonged to an indoor range, and would often spend Saturdays and Sundays practicing my shooting to stay proficient.

I made a point of not talking guns or shooting with her. If she happened to come out as I was leaving with my range box, I would simply say I had to do something for a couple of hours, and would call her later when I got back in case she wanted to do something that night.

One day as I was leaving for the range, she shocked me when she walked out saw me, and just grinned and shook her head. She said she had been waiting for me to offer to teach her to shoot, but decided I would never offer. So she said when are you going to take me to your range and teach me?

When I got over the shock I took her inside my apartment, and let her handle a variety of handguns, to find the one she felt fit her hand the best. She selected a 3" heavy barrel model 36, .38 spc, so I put about 200 rounds of target loads into my range box and off we went.

I gave her a safety briefing and watched her shoot for a bit. I was impressed that she was doing as well as she was really. She finally laid the revolver down on the shelf tray and said she was ok. She wanted me to go ahead and shoot some, and she would tap me on the shoulder if she had a question.

I did not want to pressure her at all about her shooting, so I said ok, moved to the booth beside her and began to shoot in my calm mode, lol. I could shoot but still keep an eye on how she was doing. About 45 minutes later she tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I had any more bullets for "her" gun. I grinned and said yes but they are HP loads and will kick more than the ammo you have been shooting. When I turned to my open range box, I realized she had already fired all of the target loads, and then the 200 rounds of HPs I had in my range box too.

That was when I began to realize I had created a "monster". I shot a bit more calmly, then we packed up and drove back to our apartments. On the drive my ex asked how long it would take me to find some more bullets for "her" gun. I laughed and explained I reloaded them, and it would only take me a couple of hours sitting at my press to make several hundred more.

She grinned and said instead of the movie and dinner we had talked about tonight, why don't we get a pizza and you can show me how you reload - and make more bullets for "my" gun. Then if you want to and have time, we can shoot some again tomorrow.

Yep I had created a monster for sure, lol. That lady could go through ammo like a hot knife through butter. She quickly developed into a very good shot. She got her concealed carry permit, and over the years I bought her a couple of different handguns for her to carry and shoot.

When I say I shot calmly around my ex, what I mean is that I did nothing beyond standard shooting. Maybe I fired at a farily quick pace at times, and did some double and triple tap drills, but nothing more than that. I was concerned if I did anything more "tactical" she might try to emulate me if she was ever forced to use her handgun to protect herself. She had strong basic skills, and I felt confident she could handle her handgun properly if ever required to.

But I did not want her to pick up what could be "bad habits" from watching me shoot either. I did not want her to try to do something very tactical, as she would need to work fairly often to be proficient with that skill. More and more she was having less time to join me on the range. So I just wanted her to maintain the level she had already reached.

When I go out shooting with my buds, they are mostly LEOs like me, and I can practice more tactical skills with them. We warm up with normal shooting, and then fall into performing tactical drills. We are not really competing, but all of us want to have the best looking target when we are through, lol.

So I see benefits with doing both types of shooting really sir. I do agree with suggestions by several other members already. I think if you have weapons at home that your wife or daughters might need to handle and use because/when you are not there, then I think they need exposure to shooting them.

They at least need to understand the safe handling and operation or your weapons. They also need to understand the basic weapon safety rules as well. Shooting the various weapons you have that they might need to one day use in an emergency is important too I think. They may enjoy shooting with you, and they may not. There is really only one way to see and that is to take them out with you sir.

You just may be surprised to discover you have created a "monster" or two of your own. You are the doctor, so you may understand what I am about to say. I have often read that from a body build standpoint females were designed to be inherently better shooters than men are. It has something to to with their shoulder structure and how it differs slightly from a male's.

That may not be true, but I have noticed over the years, that most females I was asked to give instruction to - usually wives, daughters, or girlfriends of fellow LEOs - generally all became very competent shooters with a little practice. Actually much quicker than many male LEOs I was training did by comparison.

Maybe a female simply listens harder to suggestions/instructions, and concentrates harder when shooting. There is certainly no macho image they feel the need to maintain. I am not sure of the why, but I have noticed that females do tend to be very good shots with practice.

When I was still working in so FL, my best friend and a fellow range instructor with me, asked if I would consider going shooting with his wife and 3 daughters. He had taken his wife shooting before, and she wanted to become more comfortable with shooting. None of his 3 daughters had ever fired a weapon before, but each said they wanted to learn. Jim was smart enough to realize maybe he was not the best person to try to teach them, as some members have suggested already. It can cause a few problems at times. He said you take the lead and I will simply back you up while they are shooting.

We started out with two lanes side by side. We had already given the ladies a fairly detailed safety and this is how you work a semi-auto pistol briefing at his house. Between the pistols we brought, each lady was able to find one they felt comfortable with shooting. On the range we just hit the highlights again, and asked a few questions to make sure they had remembered. Then we started 2 of the ladies shooting. We would swap out the 2 females with the remaining two and just keep coaching them.

Eventually Jim's wife said she was feeling much better with her pistol now, and had fired about all she wanted to now, so her girls could shoot more. I then asked both parents if they thought adding a thrid lane would be a good idea or just keep things as they were. They both readily agreed a third lane would be a great idea. We put his wife in the middle lane, so Jim and I could both sort of keep an eye on her coaching that daughter, and let the daughters shoot until they were tired and hungry, lol.

Then they all insisted Jim and I shoot a bit too, so we did. We probably fired about 200 round each. When we were packing up to leave, we realized between the 6 of us we had fired something close to 2000 rounds of 9mm. When we left the range we headed to a restaurant. Over dinner his daughters were talking about how they felt they had done, and asking a ton of questions. The bottom line was all 4 ladies had enjoyed themselves and made it clear they simply wanted that to be the first of many range sessions with us. We did enjoy about 10 family range sessions over time, and I was really impressed to see how well Jim's wife and daughters were shooting.

Jim and I had both gotten spoiled because of a deal I had fallen into on buying ammo very cheaply. When he was leaving the agency, the folks in the office chipped in and we bought him a Dillon 550 press with all the goodies. I gave him a bunch of components and free reloading lessons. His wife gave me a massive hug and cried when he unwrapped his press. She knew I was the guilty culprit, and thanked me because she was already starting to worry Jim's supply of 9mm ammo was going to be fired up quickly at the rate the family was shooting it, lol.

So really sir, I have enjoyed doing both - shooting with my ex and with Jim's family, and shooting with my buds. I do two different styles of shooting, depending on who I am shooting with. I simply try to avoid doing things that would require a great deal of practice to become proficient with around folks who will not have that time to learn that skill.

I hope you will be able to take your wife and daughters out with you sometime, and at least get them comfortable handling and shooting the weapons you have at home. If you are able to, then please update us on how your family shooting session went sir.

twoguns
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Hy Twoguns,

I have to tell you that here are a lot of girls that shoot extremely good. They make Olympic shooting, most in .22, so I guess I will take at least my daughter to fire some rounds wit my rifle. I just have my argie at home, and I will show the girls how to use it. It is much better if they learn at least the basics. I hope we will enjoy together.

But I will keep a space just for me and my buddies. :)
 

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Hi Iagbarrb,

I can honestly say this.

I am working on my third marriage and so I have some insights from the first two.

My first wife didn't care for handguns and we didn't own any back in "the day". Now, we are talking late '70's. My second actually did go shooting with me and finally took a NRA Handgun Course through the local range. When it came time to take the class, she took my SA Mil Spec with her and finished at the top of the class. Following her graduation, I went to the range and spoke with her instructor who informed me that she was a better shot than I was!!!!

My third wife loves clothes, shoes and jewelry. The few times I've taken her to the range she has only been interested in the purses designed for concealed carry and very little else. However, she does indulge me my passion for firearms, so I am OK with her right now.

The only time we have gone shooting together has been on the family farm in Virginia for some .22 plinking. (And she claimed I cheated!!!!)

Chris
 

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Iagbarrb,

I think my wife tolerates the hobby as being better than some other "vices" that a guy could get into (playing the horses, drink, other women, for example). Still, it is necessary to occasionally remind her that: "I've always had that one...maybe you don't recognize it with the new grips?" Or "I had to trade two of my best (fill in the blank here with two guns you never owned) for that one!"

Seriously, she will go to the range once in a great while with me to re-familiarize herself with one of the revolvers, but that is about it. I do leave American Hangunner and American Rifleman in the "reading room" but I am not optimistic that anything happens as either magazine is usually open to wherever I left it last.

PGM
 

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Not two minutes ago, SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) looks at the new KelTec PF9 and asks where did you get that little gun. While SWMBO can be counted on to count them, she does not know one from the other. I did not tell her that I sold another one to get it and plan to do some more trades in coming weeks (One gun per month is mandatory here in the Commonwealth and it is our duty to buy one each month too!).

SWMBO thought it cute and then said words to the effect that she prefers revolvers because of the slide thing. I am paraphrasing of course. She will from time to time ask to accompany me to the club to shoot her departed Dad's S&W 19 which resides in her night stand. And when her 'sista" from Occupied NoVa visits, she likes to go out in good weather to let her sister shoot it too. The sista's husband is a communist hopolaphobe and won't let her have the other original Chief Special that resides in my safe. More for me.

SWMBO also likes to go out to the club when there are other females out and we have a cookout. POTU (Princess of the Universe), SWMBOs clone used to be a great companion to take out to the range or even the gun show until she changed into a woman at age 13. Then she would only go if there were young men involved and it did not interfere with her social schedule or school work. Now she resides in Gotham and takes after her uncle the communist.

Living in a city, most of my neighbors are young, affluent and anti. They are anti until an entire family was murdered just down the road when the idiot met the thugs at the door armed with a fender stratocaster. Man, woman and two small girls bound with duct tape and murdered with a hammer. Suddenly, there has been interest. Lots of S&W J Frames and requests to accompany the grumpy old man (myself) out to the range.

SWMBO has followed me around the globe as a soldier's camp follower, tolerated extended vacations while the USAR sent me to Egypt, Korea, NATO and other unmentionable places. Left to fend off the wolf at the door with POTU and later delegated custody of my old Guv (the original grouchy old man), SWMBO takes it all instride but gripes at the $50 for the IDPA state match. I have not told her about the $25 match shirt yet either. Something just need to be unsaid.
 

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Mine tolerates my hobby. I had to go thru the whole why do you need a gun now if you did not have one when we first met. After we moved into our house I decided that I needed something to protect my wife. My response was that as a single man if someone broke in I could easily leave out the back door, and now that I have a wife and home that running was not an option anymore and that if someone broke into the house unless its going to be every man/woman for themselves that I was getting a firearm.

I was able to get my wife to goto the range one time after about 6 months of constantly asking and pleading with her. She learned on the only thing I had at the time xd9. She is adamant that she will not be going back again. Because of this my xd9 is what I leave at home for her. She tolerates my hobby and at this point if anything ever happens I dont know if she will grab the gun or not but at least I know that is something happens she does know how to use one.
 

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I must admit that I've been very lucky. My first wife, who is still a friend of ours (that is my second/last wife and me) was brought up on a farm with three brothers and she learned to shoot about the time she could walk. She is a crack shot.

My current wife lived in Alaska where she was always armed, she lived outside of town and alone for quite some time. She also does black powder, and she can throw a knife and a tomahawk with the best. I've seen her split a playing card with the cap and ball too, so she's damn good.

This is fortunate for me because I always want to have another pistol, rifle, shotgun etc. I'm a collector I guess, but I like to shoot them all. My daughter also was brought up knowing how to handle guns, and that's good because she's married to a LEO and for that reason there will be guns around the house.

I also enjoy going to the range with my wife. Yeah, with a pistol she's probably a better shot than me, but I make up for that with the rifles. ;-)
 

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My wife just the other day surprised me. She brought me a cup of coffee last Sunday morning and as I was sitting up inbed she reached into the nightstand and pulled out my FN Sfs40. She dropped the mag, racked the side to check for a loaded chamber and said "Take me shooting today." She has never said that before.
Well I jumped out of bed went to the safe and started to throw guns all over the bed for her to pick from.

She chose 2 9's, 2 40's, the DW357 pistol pack and her favorite S&W 49 and off we went. Now she likes the FN SFS because of the feel and the "Bite" of the 40cal and now wants one but she wants it shiney and engraved. If this is what it takes to get her involved I'm going to start looking for a BHP 40,SFS in Silver Chrome and a Engraver and start a project for her.

I think whats going on is she wants to be ready for the visit at her parents farm next month where I was invited to bring my guns and shoot. This in itself is an achivement due to the fact her parents are (D) Hippies from way back.

Other than this she has shown little interest in guns. She has told me she has been reading up on guns and how they work and used snap caps to do loading drills. I still can't get breakfast in bed but I'm OK with McDonalds drive through on the way to the range. Lets see what happens this weekend. I feel she is coming over slowly and I will ask to have her post her thoughts ( because thats what she has many of) on this subject when we return. She is a good shot.
 

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Howdy Mr. Spikey,

I am sure there are some things you do now mind jumping from bed for. This certainly sounded like one of them for sure. Congradulations on her making the request, regardless of her reasoning behind it. It is a start for sure.

We look forward to hearing more from either you or her soon.

twoguns
 
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